Not every flower symbolize for love, but rose can do it; not every tree can stand thirst, but alamo can do it, not every pig can read short message, but you can do it. Congratulations!
不是每一朵花都能代表爱情，但是玫瑰做到了；不是每一种树都能耐住干渴，但是白杨做到了；不是每一头猪都能看短消息，但是你做到了。恭喜你！
Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! FLATTERED?
Don't Be! It was sent to me. I just wanted you to read it.
漂亮的脸蛋能吸引眼球但是好的人品能吸引人心。你很幸运的同时拥有这两方面！被恭维了？
少来了！这个短消息是送给我的。我只不过想让你看看罢了。
Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you wake up today?
1) Pray-so that u may live...2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!
早上好……你今早醒来的时候有没有做这两件最重要的事呢？
1）祈祷- 好让你可以活下去……2）洗澡-好让别人也可以活下去！
In the morning I do not eat because I think of you.
At noon I do not eat because I think of you.
In the evening I do not eat because I think of you,
and at night I do not sleep because I'm hungry.
因为想你，我没吃早饭。因为想你，我没吃中饭。因为想你，我没吃晚饭。晚上我睡不着了，因为我饿了。
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.
“I was in that new restaurant across the street,” said one. “It's so clean！ The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere——it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.”
“Please,” said the other roach frowning. “Not while I'm eating！”
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。
“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里，”它说。“那里太干净了！厨房没有一点污渍，地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净，整个地方都在发光。”
“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗？”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk.
"Kiss me and I will turn into a princess." The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog starts shouting,
"Hey! Didn't you hear me? I'm a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours."
The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back.
The frog is really frustrated. "I don't get it. Why won't you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask."
The guy says, "Look, I'm a computer geek. I don't have time for girls. But a talking frog is cool.!"
一个男子在散步的时候看到路边有一只青蛙。他走近青蛙，青蛙居然开始说话。
“吻我，我会变成公主。”
男子抓起青蛙放入自己的口袋里。青蛙开始叫喊：“嘿！没听见我说话么？我是一位公主。只要吻我一下，我就是你的了。”
男子把青蛙从口袋拿出来，微笑地看了一眼青蛙，又放进口袋中了。
青蛙感到很泄气，说：“我不明白。为什么你就不吻我？我会变成美丽的公主，为你做任何事情。”
男子说：“我终日沉迷于电脑，没空交女朋友。但是有一只青蛙和我说话就太酷了！”
"All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother. "They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother consoled. "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."
"Where's the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one - use you hat."
“所有的小朋友都拿我取乐，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说。“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去到店里买10磅土豆来。”
“兜子在哪呢？”
“我没有兜子——就用你的帽子吧。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
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