试着编个精华开心集...

..宝宝..

病人:医生，你深信我得的是肺炎吗？有时候，医生在治疗肺炎，病人却死于其他的病。医生微微一笑:我在治疗肺炎时，病人就死于肺炎。

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商店里出售带有数字的方格睡衣，克林顿很奇怪，售货员解释:如果夜里跳蚤咬你，你就可以对情人讲，“莱文，请在第17号方格抓一下”

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莫里森买了双新鞋却不穿。一星期后妻子问:“你为什么还不穿那双鞋？”“明天就可以穿了，买时售货员说，头一周这双鞋会有些夹脚。”

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两只狗熊去田里偷成熟的玉米，猛掰了一阵后忽然看见农民在朝它们笑，一只狗熊略有所悟地说:老大，我们这算不算是学雷锋啊？

..宝宝..

殿霞姐去买首饰，选好后，戴在手上说:我买这个夜光戒指！服务员:这不是戒指，但也是夜光的。殿霞姐:那它是什么？服务员:夜光手环

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白骨精色诱唐僧未果，引诱悟空也未成，然后来招惹八戒，八戒也不动心，白骨精叹道:潮流变化可真快，现在已经不流行骨感美女了……

..宝宝..

英语笑话:
Can we have our teacher back？
AOnce a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"
能让我们的老师回去吗？
有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”

..宝宝..

It's Me All Right
A pretty young lady went to cash a check at a bank. The teller examined it, then asked, "Can you identify yourself? Looking puzzled, the girl dipped into her handbag and pulled out a small mirror. She glanced into it for a moment, then smiled, "Yes, it's me all right."
就是我
一位年轻漂亮的女士到银行取钱。出纳员在检查了她的存折后问道：“您能证明您的身份吗？” 这个女孩听了这话以后看上去很迷惑，随后她从手提包里拿出一个小镜子。她对着镜子照了一会儿，笑了：“对呀，
这就是我。"

..宝宝..

The absent-minded Professor
The absent-minded professor came home late one night. When he reached his door, he realized he had for forgotten his key. He knocked and knocked until finally his wife opened the door. Since it was very dark, she did not recognize him and explained, "I'm sorry, sir, but the professor is not at home." The professor, absent-minded as ever, replied, "Well, I'll come back tomorrow."　
心不在焉的教授
一位心不在焉的教授一天晚上回家很晚。他走到家门口时才发现忘记带钥匙了。于是他就不挺的敲门。终于，他的妻子来开门了。由于天很黑了，他妻子没看出来是他，于是就解释说：“非常抱歉，先生，教授不在家。” 这位教授还象往常那样心不在焉地回答道：“好吧，我明天再来。”

..宝宝..

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