How to be a friend of yourself

blacksnow

How to be a friend of yourself

Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.- Eleanor Roosevelt

We often focus on building relationships with others that we forget the essential first step: being friends of ourselves. That is the crucial first step if we are to have good relationships with others. How can we have good relationships with others if we don't even have good relationship with ourselves?

The problem might be worse than we expect. Maybe we don't like ourselves without realizing it. Here is a simple checklist; is there anything you don't like about yourself from these list?

Your past

Maybe you have made mistakes in the past which you feel bad about. You might be disappointed with yourself on why you could make such mistakes. Even if that happened in distant past, your subconscious mind still has a reason not to like yourself.

Your background

You might wish that you were born in different family, or that you have different background. Maybe you could not accept the fact that you are not as lucky as others, who seem to get whatever they want effortlessly because of their background.

Your personality traits

You might have some personality traits that you don't like. For example, you may be an introvert and you don't like it; you wish you are an extrovert.

Your achievements relative to others Others might have better achievements than you, and no matter how hard you tried, it might seem impossible for you to match them. You might then think that it's because you are not smart enough or don't have enough talents. Is there anything that resonate with you? All these give reasons to you not to like yourself. That in turn makes it difficult for you to be a good friend to yourself.

Fortunately, there are always things you can do to fix the situation. Here are some tips:

1. Forgive yourself

You may have made those mistakes in the past, but is there anything you can do about them? I don't think so, except learning from them. It's true that you are not perfect, but neither is everybody else. It’s normal to make mistakes, so do yourself a favor by giving yourself forgiveness.

2. Accept things you can't change

There are some things you cannot change, such as your background and your past. So learn to accept them. You will feel much relieved if you treat things you can’t change the way they deserve: just accept them, smile, and move on.

3. Focus on your strengths

Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. You always have some strengths which give you a unique combination nobody else have. Recognize your strengths and build your life around them.

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4. Write your success stories

One reason we may not like ourselves is we are too focused on what we don’t have that we forget about what we have. So make a list of your achievements; write your success stories. They do not have to be big things; there are a lot of small but important achievements in our life. For example, if you have some good friends, that’s already an achievement. If you have a good family, that is also an achievement.

5. Stop comparing yourself with others

You are unique. You can never be like other people, and neither can other people be like you. The way you measure your success is not determined by other people and what they achieve. Instead, it is determined by your own life purpose. You have everything you need to achieve your life purpose, so it's useless to compare yourself with others.

6. Always be true to yourself

You don't like other people lying to you, right? Similarly, you won't like yourself if you know that you lie to yourself. Whether you realize it or not, that gives your mind a reason not to like yourself. That’s why it's important to always be true to yourself. In whatever you do, be honest and follow your conscience. Remember this quote by Abraham Lincoln:

I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end . . . I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me

040209102

i find it is not easy to be a friend of myself.

金璇木雕

How to be a friend of yourself
怎样成为自己的朋友

Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.- Eleanor Roosevelt
和自己的友谊同样重要，因为没有它，一个人就不能和其他人成为真正的朋友．－埃利纳·卢瑟福．

We often focus on building relationships with others that we forget the essential first step: being friends of ourselves. That is the crucial first step if we are to have good relationships with others. How can we have good relationships with others if we don't even have good relationship with ourselves?
我们常常忙于和其他人建立友谊以至于忘了这重要的第一步：和自己建立友谊．这是我们和其他人成为好朋友的非常重要的第一步．试想我们连自己的朋友都不是，又怎能和别人成为好朋友呢？

The problem might be worse than we expect. Maybe we don't like ourselves without realizing it. Here is a simple checklist; is there anything you don't like about yourself from these list?
问题可能比我们想象得还要糟：也许我们自己都没有意识到自己不喜欢自己．这里有个小测试，看看表单上有没有你不喜欢自己的地方？

Your past　
你的过去

Maybe you have made mistakes in the past which you feel bad about. You might be disappointed with yourself on why you could make such mistakes. Even if that happened in distant past, your subconscious mind still has a reason not to like yourself.
也许你过去犯了一些让自己很难堪的错误，你也许对自己竟然犯那样的错误而感到失望．即使是发生在很久以前的事情，你的潜意识里仍然会因此而耿耿于怀．

Your background　你的家庭背景

You might wish that you were born in different family, or that you have different background. Maybe you could not accept the fact that you are not as lucky as others, who seem to get whatever they want effortlessly because of their background.
你也许期望自己生在更好的家庭，或者你能有更好的家庭背景．也许你无法接受其他人出身比你优越的事实：他们就因为出身名门望族而能轻易地得到任何东西．

Your personality traits　你的性格特点

You might have some personality traits that you don't like. For example, you may be an introvert and you don't like it; you wish you are an extrovert.
你也许有一些自己都不喜欢的性格特点，例如，你也许讨厌自己的过分内向；或者期望自己能开朗些外向些．

Your achievements relative to others
你的成功与他人有关

Others might have better achievements than you, and no matter how hard you tried, it might seem impossible for you to match them. You might then think that it's because you are not smart enough or don't have enough talents. Is there anything that resonate with you? All these give reasons to you not to like yourself. That in turn makes it difficult for you to be a good friend to yourself.
别人也许比你成就更大，不管你怎么努力都无法赶上他们．也许你会开始怀疑自己不够聪明，或者是没有天分．你有这样类似的经历吗？这些都是你自己不喜欢自己的原因．这正是你无法和自己建立友好关系的原因．

Fortunately, there are always things you can do to fix the situation. Here are some tips:
幸运的是，亡羊补牢总归不晚，下面就是一些建议：

1. Forgive yourself　善待自己

You may have made those mistakes in the past, but is there anything you can do about them? I don't think so, except learning from them. It's true that you are not perfect, but neither is everybody else. It’s normal to make mistakes, so do yourself a favor by giving yourself forgiveness.
也许过去你犯下了一些错误，但是你又如何能挽救呢？除了吸取教训，我不知道还能做些什么．承认自己的不完美，但是也得承认：没有人是完美的．犯错误很正常，所以为了自己着想，还是原谅自己吧．

2. Accept things you can't change　接受你无法改变的事情

There are some things you cannot change, such as your background and your past. So learn to accept them. You will feel much relieved if you treat things you can’t change the way they deserve: just accept them, smile, and move on.
总有你无法改变的事情，例如你的出身和你的过去．所以学着去接受它们吧，如果按照以下的方法做，你会对自己无法改变的事物感觉更平和，那就是学会接受，微笑面对，然后继续生活．
3. Focus on your strengths　看清自己的长处

Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. You always have some strengths which give you a unique combination nobody else have. Recognize your strengths and build your life around them.
不要只看到你的短处，而要看清自己的长处．你总有一项长处是别人无法比拟和替代的．发现你的长处，然后围绕着它建设你的生活吧．

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4. Write your success stories　写下你的成功

One reason we may not like ourselves is we are too focused on what we don’t have that we forget about what we have. So make a list of your achievements; write your success stories. They do not have to be big things; there are a lot of small but important achievements in our life. For example, if you have some good friends, that’s already an achievement. If you have a good family, that is also an achievement.

5. Stop comparing yourself with others

You are unique. You can never be like other people, and neither can other people be like you. The way you measure your success is not determined by other people and what they achieve. Instead, it is determined by your own life purpose. You have everything you need to achieve your life purpose, so it's useless to compare yourself with others.

6. Always be true to yourself

You don't like other people lying to you, right? Similarly, you won't like yourself if you know that you lie to yourself. Whether you realize it or not, that gives your mind a reason not to like yourself. That’s why it's important to always be true to yourself. In whatever you do, be honest and follow your conscience. Remember this quote by Abraham Lincoln:

I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end . . . I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me

金璇木雕

翻得累啊．．．谁来接力？

blacksnow

斑竹真是辛苦啊，敬礼

blacksnow

One reason we may not like ourselves is we are too focused on what we don’t have that we forget about what we have. So make a list of your achievements; write your success stories. They do not have to be big things; there are a lot of small but important achievements in our life. For example, if you have some good friends, that’s already an achievement. If you have a good family, that is also an achievement.
我们抱怨自己的一个原因就是我们总是专注于我们没有的东西而忽略了我们所拥有的，给我们自己的成果列一个清单，写下你的成功。它们不必要都是大事，在我们的生活中又很多很重要的小事情。例如，你有一些好朋友，这就是你 的成就，你有一个幸福的家庭，也是你的成功

blacksnow

翻的不好，还请多指教哦 [s:51]

blacksnow

5. Stop comparing yourself with others
不要把自己和别人比较
You are unique. You can never be like other people, and neither can other people be like you. The way you measure your success is not determined by other people and what they achieve. Instead, it is determined by your own life purpose. You have everything you need to achieve your life purpose, so it's useless to compare yourself with others.

你是唯一的。你不必要像别人，别人也不可能像你。衡量你成功的方式不是别的人或者别人的成就，而是你自己的目标。你拥有实现你的目标所需要的一切。所以，拿自己和别人作比较是没有用的