世界各地的蹩脚英语篇

klebe

...please control it by yourself. ( control the machine, not himself)
...please hand it to the guard.  (I will use the word "give" if without mentioned)
...not to take chidren to the bar. ("have" means conceive a baby or not?)
...from real skins. (sounded horrific)
...by the latest method. (I have no idea about "ists")
  Leave your trousers here for the best service. (It's not exactly still)
... We are the best gynecologist. (hehe, it's hard to describe)
... the cemetery closed on thursday. (I should take around the whole world for learning english)
  We take care your bags and keep them with you. (We have to tk their original intention)
...offer warm water. (Sometimes, words can not express our hospitality)